Unexpected Advice
by Hopeful Writer
Summary: It's not really that funny, but it has its moments. Harry is having some trouble with women, and help comes from an unexpected source: the queen of his chess set. H/G, amusing.


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Disclaimer: I own nothing, except part of the plot. But even that came from inspiration, as usual.

Story inspiration: Ginny's Second Chance by Firebolt909. Go check out Firebolt's fics. They're great!

A/N – Just something I cooked up while I was supposed to be working in tech class. Bits and pieces here and there, hope it turned out okay.

Summary: Harry gets some advice on women from a very unexpected source.

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UNEXPECTED ADVICE

By: Hopeful Writer

Harry Potter threw himself into one of the cushy armchairs in the Gryffindor Common, muttering something profane about crushes and certain females and women in general. Nearby, Seamus and Dean were glancing at him and snickering at his misfortune, something he could easily expect from the boys who were growing worse than Fred and George ever had been. 

His chess set lay forgotten on the board, left over from the previous night, when he had made the mistake of challenging one Virginia Weasley to a match. She had trounced him, quite thoroughly in fact. However, he attributed his loss to his poor concentration. And he attributed his poor concentration to Ginny herself. In other words… she had trounced him. And now she was still playing him, but this time it was off the board.

"Trouble with women, dearie?" a voice asked, a voice that sounded like a motherly old women (similar to Mrs. Weasley's, but with not nearly the same volume and power). His head shot around, half expecting to see Seamus or Dean chewing on the newest WWW invention (Edible Voice Changers: Take on the voice of anyone else for thirty seconds at a time! For individual sale or in packages of ten). However, he saw no one nearby. "Over here, sweetheart." Again the voice called him, and he looked around frantically, wondering who was playing this prank on him. Finally, the source of the voice sighed and yelled, "Your chessboard, boy!"

Harry looked down at his chess pieces to see them all stationary, except one. The queen was standing with her marble hands on her hips, glaring at him good-naturedly. For a moment he couldn't say a word. Then, glancing around to make sure no one could see, he scooped the queen into his hand and ran up the stairs to his room. No one was there, so he released her onto his bed. Lying on his stomach he whispered, "I need some help with her. There's this girl, right? The one I played in chess yesterday. She used to have a huge crush on me, and I _hated_ it. I mean, it was… you know, embarrassing. But now she seems to have dropped the crush and… and…"

"You miss it. You love her," the queen elaborated.

Harry paled. "Love?" he managed, his voice cracking. "No, not love. No way. No… no."

"Yes."

Harry's face disappeared into the bedspread, causing the queen to bob up and down as the mattress moved slightly. "How can I love her? I barely know her. She's my best mate's little sister. She's… she's Ginny." His voice was muffled, but the words were clear enough to the queen. He was afraid of having a younger girl break his heart, especially a younger girl he would have to be civil to afterwards.

"She's the one you played last night, you say? Well, it was obvious enough to me that she was still harboring _some_ feelings for you, even if you don't notice. She's just trying harder to hide them because you're killing her, Harry. You keep breaking her heart by not noticing her. Just go down there and tell her how you feel, sweetheart."

Harry stared at the little chess piece in front of him. The oddness of the conversation finally caught up to him. He was getting advice from women from a chess piece. "This is crazy. I'm crazy. She's driving me crazy."

"Yes, she is."

Harry didn't dignify that with a response. "So I'm supposed to do what? Walk into the Common Room and say, 'Ginny, I'm madly in love with you. Would you go out with me?'"

The queen nodded. "Yes. Yes, that sounds about right."

Harry left out a muffled groan and threw something at the door. The door which was opening.

It slammed shut, and there was a squeak. A very female, very Ginny-like squeak. Harry threw the queen under his bed and ran to open the door. Ginny was standing just outside, looking red-faced and surprised. "Er, sorry, Gin. Just, ah, cleaning up some stuff," he stuttered.

Ginny grinned, looking very much like the Cheshire cat must have. "Oh, I see. I could have sworn I heard you talking to someone. She sounded female." Ginny winked, not looking bothered in the least. Inwardly, Harry groaned.

"No one," he answered quickly, probably too quickly.

"Obviously."

"What are you doing here?" he finally demanded, after she wandered around his room for nearly twenty seconds.

She grinned again, a smile that made him oddly scared yet pleased at the same time. "Why? Am I bugging you?"

Harry faltered. Was there a good answer to that question? "Er…"

"Actually, I was looking for something. A chess piece. I thought maybe you or Ron had taken it upstairs." She gave him a mischievous smile. "A queen."

Harry choked.

"What are you playing at?" he cried. "You're driving me absolutely barking! Ginny, do you like me or not? Because I really need to know."

Ginny, who looked only slightly surprised at his tirade, smirked. "Why?"

Harry dropped his head into his hands. "Because…"

"Because…?"

"Because I'm madly in love with you!" he exclaimed, flushing a darker crimson than he would have liked. "Would you go out with me?"

"That's the way, dear!" the queen yelled from under the bed.

Ginny laughed and retrieved the little chess piece. "Thank you," she murmured.

Harry stared in awe. "You put her up to this?" Ginny laughed and nodded. "Oh."

Ginny moved close to him and hugged him. "Now, about that date…"

He kissed her.

It surprised both of them. Ginny, while she had been hoping to get a kiss out of the whole mess, hadn't actually expected him to follow through. Harry was shocked at his own daring, and at the way she responded. She deepened the kiss, delving her tongue into his mouth. He almost jumped back in surprise. Almost.

When they broke apart a minute later, Ginny's cheeks were quite red, and Harry felt his own face burning. Ginny turned to the chess piece that she had been clutching tightly. "Um, right. Thanks for all your help. How about you, er, go… go back to the chessboard now?"

The queen laughed. "I can't get back by myself," she teased.

There was a knock on the door. "Can I come in?" Seamus asked in a joking voice, looking from Harry to Ginny and back again.

"No!" Harry told him.

Ginny shoved the chess piece into his hand. "Be a dear, Seamus, and put this on the chessboard for me?" She pecked his cheek and gave him a shove out the door.

Harry turned on her instantly. "You didn't have to kiss him."

"Jealous, are we?"

There was a beat of silence as Harry considered that. "Yes. Now, where were we?"

"Right. About. Here." Ginny timed her words so she was moving closer and closer, lingering just out of Harry's reach. He leaned into her lips.

A/N – THE END! And everyone said school was for learning. *scoff* LOL, however, the school computers suck, so the format may be a little messed up, not that it's usually any good. Now, before I get yelled at, I'm out. Hey, why don't you review and make it all worthwhile? Later.

§--HW--§


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